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Vinodhini K Cowell
ElevenFebuaryNinteenEightysix
Apathetic, cynical, obsessive, narcisstist
melancholic mildly psychotic, mildly masochist
morbid weirdo
Thursday, February 22, 2007
MY ONE TRUE LOVE
Spent the whole night in tears. Felt so fucked up.I don't really understand whats going on?! I mean I know its all over, but why! All that you said when we were courting felt so blissful, so honeyed, so true. But now everything is gone. You listened to all those biatches out there and do this to me. Hmmm. Well, I agree i aint a saint and i did have my part in displeasing you, but then again, everyone of us has an unpleasant past and don't wish to talk about it. Even you do, i am sure. Haiz.. guess u have not understood me enuff. Well, peoples words are more impt for ya then go ahead with them. I really din aspect this from ya. But what the heck, ITS ALL HAPPENING!!! Well, from the start i always had this feeling you will do this someday. But i choose not to think that way and live every moment with you in glee. Once told me, you threw your..... gift in the dustbin and broke..... on Vday! WHy din i see it coming?! Hmmm.... But you gave me 3 or so very good slaps on the day i spoke to you after soooooooo very long! I guess you dun wat its like to get hurt and torn and tattered to that extend. THen again it boils down to you being a MAN. (Defined as a heartless, mean creature- not to all though) Slap 1) ..... and oh its not date.. its DATESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! -> whoa!! wat a slap on my face!! i din noe that was coming man... haiz.. you din had to add that?!? ok nvm.
Slap 2) .... Well did i ask for the gifts?!?! throw them away or give them to someone else laa?!?!
WAAAAAAAAAAH! in wch frame of mine did u actually tell those stuff to me man!?!?! Goodness!! it was as good as killing me! (by the way the family block choco i bought you has melted and its still in there in my cupboard... in that bag... I NOE YOU LOVE FAMILY BLOCKS! damn...
Slap 3) ... I have already forgotten. Thats why I din not reply you the whole morning... Hmmm.. Thanks man.
Despite all these words, you still have the cheek to tell me that you have not forgotten me and still wanna call me Winnie and say all these nice things to me?! FOR WAT FUCK!?!
Quit playing the mind games you had been doing sometimes for these 9 months.. I bared with them ... but not any longer. How could you man?
Reminscing....
and i think abt the times you went for chalets and met me in the early mornings just to have Breakfast with me and send me off to work. ( HOw fuckign sweet can that get?! ) laffing abt the arsy lady and all... and not finishing you food ( carrot cake) Haiz..
Think abt the times you rush from the chalets to the interchange just to send me off home. Slack with me at Sunplaza and wait till the limit we can and kanchiong for taxi to send me back. Still rmb the thrilling rides we have back home, dreadin at all the traffic lights. and how you still manage to make me smile amidst all those kanchiongness.. Haiz...
think abt the times, YOu come allll the way from bishan just to send me home and go back home to bishan. Goodness.. Never had anyone been these sweeet. How can i ever forget all theSE?!
Everytime i finish work, i look at that corner and always have to distract myself... Haiz...
Think abt the times when my mom found out and such big hoo haa... But how you rushed over during my lunch time and held me in ur arms... At my office smoking corner.. It was heavenly!! i felt soo secure and sooo carefreee... You just melted me.. How do i forget that man!?! HOW!! Haiz..
Think abt the times, my bro wanted to see you and how kanchiong i felt, but it all went fine and how my bro was happy to see a nice guy like you!
Think abt the times, you always call me at nite and i will end up sleeping and how u still wont get pissed but still smile and yet u wont put the down the phone... but insist in me sleeping then u silently kiss me good nite and put the phone down... HAiz...
Think abt the times, when i had no hp and how we wrote to each other thru this lil diary.. All the emotions we share and all the times i badly needed to hear you yet i controlled (vice versa) and wrote all my genuine emotions.. and how excited i would be to see wat u have written in that lil diary.. never did anyone gave me such delight. how sweet of ya... seriously. ..
Think abt the times, we quarrelled and yet the very next min , cant leave without each other. Hated that whole feeling.. But now it seems like its gonna be there foreva.. Coz i still feel the same way but you dun it seems.. haiz.
Think abt the times, i made you lil stuff and how you would happily appreciate my lil stuff for ya.. and kiss me or pat my head. How sweeet... Fuck... haiz..
Think abt the times, we went out to Vivo, where you woke up late, yet rushed over just to meet me and made me all happy and how we went up that ship, looked at the sky and you told me, " i wish we can just go off in this ship..." OMIGOSH@ how fucking sweeeet. haiz...
Think abt the times, we went to watch movies, and although u hated that movie you still watched it coz i liked it... damn... the way i snuggled to you and felt soo comfortable.. wish it had beeen like this foreva...
Think abt the time, you bought me that samuel and kevin top and how delighted i was and went it had a lil small tear i cried the whole nite!!
Think abt the times, when you were having tuff times, and i missed you to the core... all i did was cry and cry and long for ya to pick up ur phone or call me..
Think abt the times, we went out shopping and no matter how much i made u walk here and there u din complain and even agreed to take neoprints although u dun fancy them!! Haiz.. its soo much hurt.. i miss all these and more.. i want you just need you.. BUT...
You will always be the one in my mind somewhere in my heart. Everything reminds me of ya..
ITS ALLL GONE! ITS ALL TOO LATE!! you just loathe me fullstop
so take me away
speak
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